3 to 4 Years

Between the third and fourth birthdays, a child changes in significant ways. Watch him closely and you will see that he walks more like a big boy than a toddler. His understanding of the world around him makes a giant leap. Research shows that children under 3 tend to scribble when drawing a person. By 4, most children are skilled enough to draw a stick-figure person.

Changing, too, is the way children play with each other. Cooperative play – joining in with other children — becomes the norm. At the beach or in a sandbox, children are likely to work together to build a city. They may play “family,” with each child taking on a different role. There are likely to be disagreements as children this age begin to play together. Sharing still is in the future. Just remember that young children learn what kind of communication works and what doesn’t when playing with their peers.

You may find that your 3-to-4-year-old talks constantly. This is normal as the preschool years are the prime time for learning speech. Don’t forget that your child is learning to speak by hearing you. Children begin to acquire good grammar and a rich vocabulary in their earliest years. During this year, most children finally become potty trained. Do yourself a favor and give constant reminders to go to the bathroom.

You may also find it useful to keep a bag of crayons, paper and small toys with you at all times. That way your child will have something to keep him busy and occupied.

Physical Development

As your child’s first teacher, you can:

• Provide areas at home to run, jump, hop, play ball, and ride a tricycle.
• Play catch with your child.
• Let your child choose his clothes and dress himself. Offer assistance if needed.
• Show your child how to cut paper with scissors and paste pictures on paper.
• Provide pencils, markers, and paper for drawing and writing.
• Provide clothes that are easy to manage and give frequent reminders to go to the bathroom.

Typical 4-year-old Milestones

• Uses toilet independently
• Moves with balance and control, making quick stops and turns
• Goes up and down stairs alternating feet without holding for support
• Throws a ball with reasonable accuracy and catches a ball by moving
• Can cut on a line with scissors
• Holds a pencil correctly in a pincer grasp
• Zips his jacket

Language Development

As your child’s first teacher, you can:

• Utilize every opportunity to talk – in the car, while shopping, and during dinner.
• Read a favorite book to your child every day.
• While reading to your child, ask questions about the story, point out particular words and letters, and call attention to rhyming words.
• Teach your child songs that are easy to remember.
• Provide pencils, markers, and paper for drawing and writing.

Typical 4-year-old Milestones

• Follows 2 or 3-step directions
• Speaks clearly
• Asks and answers questions
• Enjoys being read to and pretends to read
• Recognizes some letters, especially those in his own name
• Creates rhyming words and nonsense words
• Tells a story about a picture
• Is beginning to write several letters

Intellectual Development

As your child’s first teacher, you can:

• Play games that teach your child colors, numbers, and shapes.
• Provide puzzles, matching games, and patterning materials and work on them with your child.
• Give directions that use positional words. For example, “Look under the sink, and bring me a garbage bag.”
• Play cards or other games that require finding items that are the same and different.
• Sing, dance, draw, and play pretend with your child.

Typical 4-year-old Milestones

• Sorts blocks according to shape and color
• Points and counts 5 to 10 objects correctly
• Can match and sort shapes
• Understands several positional words like “above,” “below,” and “under”
• Enjoys finding things that are the same or different
• Notices major changes in the environment
• Enjoys creative materials and activities but may sustain attention for only limited periods of time

Social/Emotional Development

As your child’s first teacher, you can:

• Provide times for your child to play with other children.
• Take your child to new places with new people.
• Ask you child to help with simple household chores like putting dirty clothes in the hamper.
• Provide clear, consistent rules and predictability to his day.
• Set a good example by sharing some of your belongings with your child.
• Help your child learn to settle arguments with words, without hitting or screaming.

Typical 4-year-old Milestones

• Shows more independence and likes to do things by himself but may need support to try new things
• Finds routines very comforting and can become upset when things are done differently
• Enjoys helping with household chores
• Plays well with one or two other children, but also likes to play alone
• Seeks adult help when needed to settle conflicts
• Can follow simple rules with gentle reminders

Basic Equipment

• Lots of pretend play materials – washable dolls and stuffed toys with accessories, dress-up materials, housekeeping items, puppets, and transportation toys
• Sand and water play materials
• Wooden and hollow blocks
• Puzzles (15–30 pieces) and simple card games
• Pattern-making materials like pegboards, stringing beads, or color cubes
• Dressing, lacing, and stringing materials
• Lots of picture and pop-up books
• Art materials – crayons, markers, paper, clay/dough, glue, and collage materials
• Musical materials – instruments, recorded music
• Push and pull toys and balls
• Ride-on equipment with pedals
• Climbing equipment with soft surface underneath

A Few Book Suggestions

• Blueberries for Sal by Robert McCloskey a little girl and a little bear mix up their mothers while gathering blueberries
• Jamil Jamil Went Down the Hill by Virginia Kroll wonderful rhymes and illustrations based on Mother Goose favorites with a focus on the African continent
• Jesse Bear, What Will You Wear? by N. W. Carlstrom a wonderful poem with great illustrations about what a childlike bear wears from morning to night
• Silly Sally by Audrey Wood Sally travels to town going backwards and upside down
• Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak a classic about one boy’s journey of fears and his return to the comforts of home

Music and Your Child

The window of opportunity for learning a musical instrument can begin at age 3 and remain open until age 10. A person can still learn to play an instrument after that period, but it may be harder. Most musical prodigies start learning to play their instrument before age 10. However, don’t go overboard as the parent of a musical toddler. Children this age should not be required to practice for a certain time each day.

Early exposure to music and learning an instrument not only contribute to better musical ability, but also seem to improve the capacity to learn mathematics and develop spatial ability. Studies of preschool children who have been exposed to musical training confirm that early musical training significantly improves spatial intelligence, which is critical for learning mathematics. (Spatial sense is the awareness of how shapes or objects, two or three dimensional, are related. For example, think about the relationship between a city map, which is two-dimensional, and the city itself, which is three-dimensional.)

Brain research has discovered that the part of the brain used in music learning is close to that which is responsible for mathematics, spatial aptitude and logic. This connection may explain why people with musical talent tend to have excellent spatial, and mathematical ability.